This is probably one of the most honest post I will ever write. At the moment, I do not feel I am living authentically, honestly or happily.
At the moment I am not living the life I want to live nor do i feel I am living authentically. Over the past couple of weeks more specifically the past couple of days, I have come to many realizations and decisions in regards to my business and personal life.
Cara Alwill Leyba, had a very interesting podcast about asking permission from others to take action and make decisions. I realized before I was making decisions whether it be in business or in my personal life, i was asking for permission from friends as well as people in Facebook groups and on social media. Thinking about it now, it sounds absolutely crazy and ridiculous to be honest. Who are these people for me to put my important life decisions in their hand?? I have made the decision to no longer as for permission. There is a difference between asking for advice and asking for permission and the best thing you can do for yourself is learn, know and practice the difference. The real difference to me is that when asking permission you are seeking acceptance and the go ahead to take action. When asking for advice you are asking for an opinion but that does not determine the action you will take.
Another realization I have recently come to, was that I was no longer aligned or happy with my online bakery business as well as trying to launch my coaching business and female empowerment brand. I definitely had shiny new object syndrome and was getting caught up in the hype and success of what others where doing in their businesses and wanting to follow them. It was becoming exhausting as well as was preventing me from actually launching my businesses and moving forward with my vision, goals and action plan. After almost a year of of becoming certified as a life and wellness coach as well as planning my business, I have a blog but my coaching business is no further to being launched. Since coming to this realization, I have made the decision to put my online bakery business on hold as well the launching my coaching business. I have decided to keep blogging and posting on social media but it will be on my own terms, not just for business purposes and it will be what feels honest and authentic to me. No more imposter syndrome for ME!!!!
My final big realization has been that I am not happy. I am not happy in my personal life, business life, financially or mentally and I am responsible for my happiness. I am currently working a job that does not make me happy nor does it generate enough income to help me achieve my goals of having savings and paying down my debt. Now what i do understand, is that no one is forcing me to work this job. I am working here by choice and it is up to me make changes if I am not happy. Happiness is something that I have decided is the most important goal I want to achieve this year and every year for the rest of my life. Although to have a goal you need it to be specific, my goal is to find happiness from within and alone. For many years, I have looked for happiness from friends, family, romantic relationships, food and money and that is the very reason I believe I have not found happiness. I have never focused and intentionally sought happiness from within, but that will change. It is all about making the effort and intention to find happiness from within as well as well fall in love yourself.
At the moment, I am feeling unsuccessful, unhappy, miserable, down and like I am moving backward through life instead of forward. The questions I have been asking myself these last few days are, what am I using to measure success? What will make me happy??? Where do I think I should be in life?? Where do I want to be in life?? Where do I want to go in life??? These are questions I will be asking myself and seeking answer to.
Its time to be honest with yourself. Are you living authentically and honestly? If not, what are you are you going to do about it??