What is the difference being being alone and being lonely?
Being alone is an action and being lonely is a feeling. I am newly single, in a new city and I am alone. I do not have friends in my new city and I have not be able to find the type of friends I need in my life at this time. I want to have the type of friends who are supportive of my businesses, blog and entrepreneurial journey. The type of friends to life me up, not judge me, have my back and does not make be the back up plan. I have met a couple of people who I have become acquainted with but I have not met the type of friends where we hang out at each other’s house, go out to dinner or the shopping with. I had these types of friendships when I lived in Toronto but after moving away I can say those friendships have not be able to be maintained.
Since moving away, I have noticed that most of the friends I thought I had were never actually friends. I realize that most of the people around me where no where to be found once I was not able to continue doing the things I did for them before. I noticed people wanted me to take the bus for 2-3 hours to see them but would not offer to meet me half way, pick me up, offer to pay for half my trip of try and find me a ride. Why should I go out my way for others who would not go out their way for me? I do understand that there is a difference between what a person can do and what a person will do. For this reason, i have given many people second and third chances but to be honest they do mot deserve it. I never wanted to be a cynical person or selfish person but I have come to realize that looking out for number one and putting myself first does not make me selfish or cynical.
I am currently living with a roommate, after moving out the apartment I shared with my ex. It was not a easy decision and to be honest it is a decision I second guess from time to time. At first I thought my roommate was amazing, I thought we were going to be the best of friends and this was going to work out. However, I was wrong. Living with a roommate who does not have the same values, goals, ethics or upbringing. My roommate is the complete opposite of who I am and what I stand for. I feel lonely even living with a roommate and for me i would much rather live alone and not have the stress of a roommate. I would rather only having to clean up my messes, look after my own pet, take out my own garbage as well as have all the household bills and responsibilities on my own.
Right now in my life I feel lonely but I am also alone. I am single for the first time in almost 4 years, for the first time I do not have a group of friends around nor do I have anyone I am dating at the moment. I am alone without family and friends and it feels less stressful but it also feels terribly lonely. I am not used to being the house all day without speaking to someone. I am not used to going to bed & waking up alone, if I am being honest, it is hard. There are days that go by where no one calls or texts my phone, I seem to be the person who texts or call first and that is not only tiring but annoying once you realize how your relationship with them works. I have a pet cat so I am not alone, but unfortunately she cannot talk to me and only wants to hang out on her own terms lol.
My goal for 2018 is to get used to being alone but not lonely. I want to be able to to be home, live on my own and not seeking company from others. I feel this is one way women, especially, allow exes the space and time to weasel their way back into our lives. I am trying to be my best self and I need to get used to looking out for me, having my own back and loving my own company. I am finding ways to enjoy my own company, ways to keep busy and ways to improve my life and myself. Self care and solo dates have been a huge success so far but I do realize that this is a journey and process that takes time. Being alone and not feeling alone will be one of my greatest achievement and I will continue to work on it.
How do you battle being alone and feeling lonely???